March 27, 2012

Oh no, I haven't given up....

I may have received a letter from Calgary2012 stating they cannot fund my residency, but like the man of steel, I won't be giving up any time soon.
I saw this while taking out the garbage, it is kind of how I feel.

I may have to give in at times however, like I did this week......... to illness. I gave in to malady, malaise and melancholy.  It felt like all my steam had been taken away. Until this morning, my general positive and hopeful outlook had been depleted. that's how i know i'm beginning to feel better, the veil has been lifted and I feel a bit more like my "normal' self.

This past week has been an experience of regathering and assessing myself. It gave me the opportunity for quiet solitude in reflection. I need this time alone, for listening to my woes and allowing me to just be me. My daily wish was to just feel better. No time in the studio. A bunch of things beginning to pile up. There was a litany of Week-end opportunities I completely missed out on........ however there is always a bright side, I had lots of time to watch movies:)

I reconnected with my vulnerability watching dramas and chick flicks. and yes, on occasion... I cried.  its a normal part of life. I think society has made it very wrong....cowboys don't cry. A man showing his vulnerability is NOT a sign of weakness, brokenness or neurosis. it shows he has a real beauty and hope for real humanity. This is fearlessness. This is manly.


Hurtin Hippie said...

I like this post, you need real reflective times Brian - it is only then that artists can truly pull from deep inside them, the real them. You are such a busy man, and a wonderful artist - now maybe slow it down a bit? anyway, my thought

Glad your feeling better, maybe you need to get sick more often?

BUNNY said...

slowing down and squirrelling away is usually quite good for busy guys like me. hank you sincerely for the "wonderful artist" compliment, I really appreciate it.

And anyone out there who has been too chicken to comment, Have you ever felt like this? what's your take?

Fay_Moose_Art said...

Oh yes I feel like this now and then. Last weekend I did nothing , I know I will be very busy for a while so I give myself 2 days of nothing, b4 I get sick. :)
And good for you for showing your emotions :)